Julie R Fricke

In this Place was a darkness that had never known the idea of light. The smells swirling about were questionable. Was it the rankness of an overused, imperfectly cleaned locker room? Or a bakery of sorts where aromas took on a life of their own? There was a steaminess that spoke of the promise of life, whether good or bad. Was it a place where something might develop? Or die?

Stanley (or the idea of Stanley) drifted somewhat aimlessly. Strange muted sounds accompanied him, just below his level of awareness. Sometimes he felt that others were indeed drifting through him. But he was like plankton, without purpose, drifting where ever the force would pull. And so too were the others. Drifting, drifting.

Unknowingly, Stanley began to be pulled. Pulling...pulling. A mild black hole, you could assume. Or a gentle vacuum, drawing him inexorably in. As he always had before, Stanley yielded to the pull. He was without volition.

Abruptly, (and had he ever felt anything abrupt before?) he sensed a lightening of the miasma around him. A soft glow began to permeate his consciousness. His world became dim, which was brighter than the previous absolute Dark.

"And what is your decision?" A distinct thought interrupted Stanley's aimless journey.

It wasn't his thought. It was definitely from out There. It was so startling that Stanley almost felt it reverberating through him.

Reflexively, Stanley reacted. Decision?

This reaction, yea, even this Thought, was a whole new experience. Stanley's persona jolted with a new, unfamiliar vigor.

The dimness faded a little more, just a twinge.

"Yes, what will it be?" This second thought felt ominous. It was definitely from a different source. Stanley felt a glimmer of doubt. His emanence almost shuddered, if such a physical thing were possible.

Once again, the gloom retreated a little further. Stanley became aware of shadows. In fact, he sensed the presence of the two other emanations. He, himself, felt a certain solidification occurring within his own presence. He felt his own separateness from his surroundings. It was slightly thrilling to him! He who had never felt any glimmer of happiness or sadness of any sort.

"What do you mean?" Stanley managed to construct a solid thought. He felt his psyche swell just a bit more.

"Stanley, you are being considered for launch into the outside world. We would like to have your opinion about the possibility. Up until now, you have simply been an idea. There are other futures available for you, you know."

The Emanation floating around in the glowing ether emitted parental feelings toward Stanley. Stanley reacted. If he could have smiled, he would have, though at this point that was an unfulfillable possibility.

A sterner thought from the darker side interrupted these rosy considerations. "But do you fully realize the hazards you would encounter?"

Stanley suddenly felt the distinctive aura of doom. "Hazards?" His spirit trembled. He felt leaden where once he had felt a spark of happiness.

The brighter spirit addressed him. "Do you like having thoughts?"

Do I like? thought Stanley. What is this "like?"

He realized that there was a lot more going on now than there had been as long as he had just been drifting aimlessly around.

"Yes, I guess I do like having thoughts," he thought. "And I can tell what "liking" is." A warm glow began to vibrate through Stanley's being.

The Paternal-Maternal figure emitted more ideas for consideration. "I'm proposing you consider leaving this safe, but uneventful, realm of ether and non-ness. There is another existence available to you where you will attain full Being. Full self-determination."

"On the other hand," the darker spirit countered, "there are many drawbacks to this new Life. Life is hard. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you would wish you had never been born."

Stanley weighed the two options in his mind. Yes, drifting like spawn in the ocean had been easy. But it had also been pretty boring. At least compared to this existence with thoughts, and feelings, and liking. He was starting to like this new phase. Like! With pleasure, he rolled the idea of it around in his mind.

"Tell me more," he requested. "I really have no idea what you're talking about." (Talking? Now there was a strange new concept.)

It felt to Stanley like the Maternal-Paternal one smiled. Stanley basked in the comforting glow. "Well," It said, "You would go to a place where you would have family. You would have friends. You would have fun. These are all special things. You would like them."

Stanley now knew about liking. He liked liking. This was sounding attractive.

The Other One spoke up. "But there is also not liking. Not all of Being is pleasant. There are not only friends, but also enemies. Enemies do NOT like you, and you do not like enemies. They want to hurt you, or even cause you to not Be."

"What is this 'fun'?" asked Stanley. "You mean there's more to Life than simply Being?"

Stanley felt a huge glow when the Parental One smiled this time. "Oh yes, Fun is a whole lot of liking."

A shadow came over the glow from the Paternal-Maternal. The Other interrupted. "Hurting is a whole lot of not liking. So much not liking that you feel you will break in half and then shatter into a million sad pieces. Sad is the opposite of liking."

"Oh," said Stanley. Suddenly, he felt depressed. Why would anyone risk having so much sadness? Surely it was safer to continue to drift through the miasma. But...but...this liking. It sounded so worthwhile, so valuable! It sounded so much better than nothingness. Stanley was already an expert at Nothingness.

"We could let you go back to Nothingness," offered the Parental One, "but then you would never be able to come back. You would lose all opinion and choice. You would feel Nothing, as you have before."

"Save yourself a whole lotta trouble," replied Gloom and Doom.

Stanley pondered momentarily.

Then he thought about never being able to ponder. Never having to make decisions. Never liking anything anymore. Heck, he thought, even being sad might be more worthwhile than feeling absolutely Nothing.

"I'll try it!" Stanley cried.

"You know, there's no turning back," reminded the gloomy One.

"It's Okay," replied Stanley. "I'm ready for the challenge."

"Wonderful," said the Maternal-Paternal Being. ""Come right this way. I'll get you started. Now first you're going to sleep and grow a body. It will be dark and warm, a little like here. After some time, you will feel the first of the unpleasantness. But after that, you'll be a fully authorized, certified Being. You will begin as part of a family, but after that, you'll take off on your own."

"Great!" said Stanley, and moved in the direction of the glowing smile.

The gloomy one shook his head. As Stanley passed him, he called out to him.

"Hey Kid, don't say I didn't warn you!"